BARK II: All Bite

Dogs. What are they? Where did they come from? How did they become our best friend? We may never know the answers. Why are there so many dog movies, and could they alleviate our concerns? Against our best instincts, we must make another dog movie…

Continued from last time, can an all dog cast horror work? Is the care-free Casey going to be able to overcome the killer? Is there more backstory to be discovered? How quickly can we get a sequel out the door? Am I just using the repetitive rhetorical questions because I leave editing these to the last minute and haven’t wrote an intro for this one?

But isn’t that literally how Nutty Professor 2 ends?

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BARK, A Dog Horror

Dogs. What are they? Where did they come from? How did they become our best friend? We may never know the answers. Why are there so many dog movies, and could they alleviate our concerns? Against our best instincts, we must make another dog movie…

We did it. After broaching the subject of canine cinema and trying to articulate our initial gut reactions to the genre, here we are. With thanks to Fenella Greenfield for her movie checklist over at Euroscript, we began to walk the walk. Could a dog movie be so easy to cobble together as the existing examples allude? Turns out, yes. In this extended, and excited, discussion, Alex and I used the prompts provided to craft our own narrative in the genre of horror. For later reference in the inevitable court trial, I would like to state neither of us are serial killers, or display any other tendencies of psychopaths. That being cleared up, let’s get started with the dog murder!

Creed really do help the creative process.

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Dog Stereotypes; Subs or Dubs

Dogs. What are they? Where did they come from? How did they become our best friend? We may never know the answers. Why are there so many dog movies, and could they alleviate our concerns? Against our best instincts, we must make another dog movie.

The prelude was an impromptu tangent of presumably another tangent. This week, we came together with the intention to take a bite out of canine cinema. Cinema, by and large, relies on the artistic balance of visual and aural. Any regular schmuck can capture the moment their dog slips off the couch as brief sight gag. Constructing a full feature length film with a narrative requires a little more. Even the Three Stooges had to explain the context to us why they kept falling over for it to work.

Herzog dragged a boat over a mountain, I think we can throw just a few dogs into large pits.

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Not Another Dog Movie, A Prelude

Dogs. Doggies. Doggos. Canines, mongrels, and doggy style. What are they? Where did they come from? How did they become our best friend? We may never know the answers. Even now, As I correspond with a friend, Alexander, a dog absently stares in my direction as I know another one stares at him. Like any friend, what do they want in return of their friendship?

If only they could talk. Like the titular Marley in the 2011 prequel Marley and Me: The Puppy Years. Then, in an inane venn diagram, the cultural osmosis of pets and movies comes together. Why are there so many dog movies, and could they alleviate our concerns?

So now Alexander and I are delving into the glut of canine cinema to research and develop the prefect character study. A film that strives for more than family friendly entertainment but an existential and educational expose. Against our best instincts, we must make another dog movie.

I helped make this monster, now I have to teach it how to not kill things.

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The Worst Films In Memory Of

There’s a common statistic thrown around car insurance sites that most accidents occur within three miles of a person’s house. They don’t mention that almost ninety percent of these are caused by your alcoholic son doing doughnuts around the house in his shitty Voltswagen Golf. Now, if he wants his flagged YouTube videos of him blaring his Cascada CD played at his funeral, he might certainly qualify to make this list.

Death caught on film, it’s not just for market corner VHS trades. Cast and crew have passed on while on production and the only honourable thing to do is dedicate their last work in their memory. Sometimes, however, they may well have only been there for a paycheck, and their name so prominently attached is perhaps the opposite of their last wishes.

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Top Monsters from Wrestling Hell

There’s an eternal tale of a battle between good and evil. A world where miracles and resurrections are commonplace. Usually, the folk who believe it’s all real live in the South. In many ways, wrestling is a religious experience. The two industries have done business from David and the Goliath to Ellsworth and Styles.
It can go both ways, the New Day start as a black gospel stable before making cereal and anime work. On the flip side, real people like Shawn Michaels can become born-again Christians.
“There’s only one God […] and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that”, said a wise man. In equal wisdom, WWE CEO Vince McMahon knows best how to dress the big man in his in-ring debut. He doesn’t. He also books God to abandon the match leaving his tag team partner to lose.

To keep the roster diverse, WWE have to talent search both above, below, bath, and beyond. These monsters are willing and ready to compete for belts, money, and material gain. Even in death, lives on the American dream.

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